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29 December 2014 @ 10:53 pm
Occupational Hazard (1/3) (for xingphonic)  
Title: Occupational Hazard
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 15,531 words
Recipient: xingphonic
Summary: What happens when the boss of the secret spy organization you are a part of is also a self-proclaimed matchmaker? Feelings, of course. A lot of feelings.
Author's Note: The request asked for silver-haired Yamada and alternate universes (and Inoo playing a major role, which is Very Important), and I went through three drafts before finally deciding to continue this one for the exchange assignment. I really don’t know what happened afterwards, I am so sorry. And this is so late and I am probably stripped of all anonymity by now so Recipient-sama I just want to let you know I will make it up to you in some way, I promise. Special thanks to all my cheerleaders and my lovely beta, and to the mods who are ordering me to a forced hiatus after everything to get to rest and for understanding how late I am. I hope this fic would make it up for my lateness by fulfilling Recipient-sama’s requests. Thank you for waiting and sorry for being the cause of delay ;u; This has been a heck of an emotional roller coaster and I hope everyone finds something they enjoy in this story ;u;

“So…” Yamada said, idly flipping the knife in his hand and catching it perfectly by the handle at every turn. “…we have to look after kids now?

Chinen shrugged. “Well, college kids so technically they’re about our age.”

Yamada picked up the folder lying on the table, studying the contents of the file inside. Chinen looked at him with detached interest, tapping out a complicated string of numbers on the keyboard in front of him that was probably some sort of illegal code again (Yamada didn’t want to know). He returned his attention to the folder on his lap which was open to his current subject assignment, given to him by their boss (who had a mysterious smile on his face when he did so—also one of the things Yamada didn’t want to know) when he called for him earlier.

“Nakajima Yuto, 21 years old, second year at Keio University, amateur photographer, son of the president of the Nakajima group of companies,” he read aloud, thumbing through the pages. It was full of photocopies of awards and certificates that the subject has received, along with his credentials and personal information and pictures that were definitely taken by hidden cameras. “He’s the poster boy of the privileged kid stereotype. The kind of guys that exist in shojo mangas, probably: smart, rich, and probably has good looks.”

“’Probably’?” Chinen asked.

Yamada held out the printouts. “Newspaper photos are too blurry, and they showcase the work more than the actual person,” he said. “From what I read, it seems like a personal preference from the person himself.”

“Maybe he’s the shy type?” Chinen guessed. He peered over Yamada’s shoulders at the papers in his friend’s hands. “Why are we putting him under surveillance, anyway?”

“The father wanted additional security for his son while he’s in school to add to the security he already has, since he’s closing a very important international deal with several countries. If it pushes through, it’s supposed to greatly affect Japan’s economic growth,” Yamada said, looking down at the papers with the beginnings of a frown on his lips. “And for some reason, Inoo-kun assigned him to me, of all people.”

“That’s nice, you get volunteered now. You have an awesome track record, anyway,” Chinen said, stretching out his fingers over his keyboard. “But I don’t envy the babysitting job. Good luck in helping him stumble drunk out of parties and all the other stupid things university students probably do.”

Yamada let out a long-suffering sigh and flopped onto the couch, throwing the knife idly as he went down. The door opened, just as the knife buried itself to the dartboard hanging behind it.

“What the—Yamada!” a female voice said. Yamada raised himself by his elbows and looked over the door, where a glaring Shida stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Can you stop throwing knives at doors? This is really not helping with the safety thing,” she said. She pulled out the knife from the dartboard and stalked over to the two, wagging the knife near Yamada’s face. “And stop ruining the dartboards!”

“Calm down, I didn’t miss anyway!” Yamada said, quickly taking the knife from Shida by the blade without injuring himself. He now went back to tossing it up and down, like it wouldn’t cut his fingers with one wrong move. “And be careful with these knives, you could hurt yourself. Besides, knives are pointy things too, what’s the difference?”

“I am so done with this conversation already,” Chinen commented, plopping down on the couch next to Yamada’s head and putting up his feet on the coffee table. “What do you want, Mirai-chan? Barging into the holy territory of masculinity?”

Shida gave Chinen a filthy look that was five different levels of judgmental all at once before turning back to Yamada. “You got a new assignment, I heard?”

Yamada sighed. “Trust Kamiki to tell you; do you guys have no secrets?” he asked, catching the knife by the blade between the gaps of his fingers and reluctantly sitting up.

“Be careful; Inoo-kun seemed like he was in one of those moods again,” Shida said.

Chinen snorted as Yamada groaned, collapsing back onto the couch. “I am so done with this!” he declared to the ceiling. “And stop laughing, both of you.”

“I wasn’t doing anything!” Shida said indignantly.

“You were about to laugh! Remember I have a knife in my hands,” he said.

“And I have three hypodermic needles with muscle paralysis and breathing constriction drugs,” she said, casually placing her hand over the hidden pockets in her sleeve and cocking an eyebrow at Yamada. “Just saying.”

“Not fair! Why don’t I get cool things like that?” Yamada complained. Shida laughed and patted Yamada on the head, his silver hair in its usual state of mussed and unruly.

“Because you’re better with knives and guns and using your muscles for more… physical things. I’m the stealth and sudden death type,” she answered. Then she grinned, sitting down on the coffee table. “What are you going to do? Are you going to accept the new assignment?”

“I need to earn my keep,” Yamada said as a response. Chinen sat up and met Yamada’s gaze.

“Maybe something good would come out of it,” he said, stretching his arms and yawning. “Inoo-kun got involved after all. He’s got great taste.”

Yamada furrowed his eyebrows. “…why are you making it sound like I’m going to a cake buffet?” he said suspiciously. “It’s an official assignment!”

Chinen shared a grin with Shida. “Oh I dunno, maybe you’ll get some pretty good mancake after this mission. Pun intended, all rights reserved,” he said.

Yamada groaned, covering his eyes with his arm. “You two are horrible,” he said, in a voice that told how resigned he was to his fate. “I need a constant reminder of why I’m friends with you guys.”

“Because you don’t have much of a choice pool,” Chinen replied, smirking down at Yamada even if he couldn’t see.

“And you’re lucky to have us as it is; with your grumpy personality, you don’t have much to sell yourself with,” Shida said, crouching down on the floor next to Yamada’s head and poking his cheek. “Well, you do have a pretty face. But you really lack in the conversation department,” she added after some consideration.

“You’re such a true friend, I’m really touched, thanks,” Yamada said in a deadpan voice. He removed the arm covering his eyes and turned his head to look at Shida. “And Inoo-kun still wonders why we didn’t end up together.”

Shida smiled. “We’re best bros anyway, so he got that right. And I found someone the second time around, so he’s still right,” she said.

Yamada covered his ears and pulled a face of pretend horror. “Please, I don’t need the sordid details of your love life. I get enough from Kamiki, what with all the teasing Chinen does.”

Shida hit him on the arm. “Instead of teasing me, why don’t you use your muscles for something useful like target practice?” she said. “This assignment might sound easy, but you never know.”

“Yes, mother,” Yamada said, pouting. Shida punched him once on the arm before standing up, snagging the knife from Yamada’s hands and putting back the knife in the sheath strapped to his hip. He watched her turn before calling out to her again, almost as if it was an afterthought.


She turned, hands tucked into her pockets. “Hmm?”

Yamada smiled. “Thanks for telling me, even if you didn’t have to,” he said.

Shida grinned and flashed him a peace sign. “Somebody needs to remind you once in a while that it’s okay to give yourself a chance. You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said.

His mouth turned up at the corners, even as Chinen grasped his shoulder before standing up and sauntering towards the door as well. “Thanks,” Yamada said after their retreating backs. Both of his friends raised their hands in matching peace signs over their shoulders and closed the door behind him. He stared at the closed door and sighed, drawing out the knife from the sheath on his hip and twirling it between his fingers. He considered the pros and cons of incurring Shida’s wrath before shrugging and taking aim, letting the knife fly and hitting the dart board, dead center. He sunk back against the sofa cushions, reluctantly turning back towards the case files and frustratingly uncharacteristic blurry photos that Inoo had provided.

He’ll deal with Shida (and maybe buying a new dart board) some other time.

“I know we have to blend in and stuff,” Yamada said slowly, before glancing down at his ‘university student’ outfit. “But why do we have to be students too? Can’t we be professors instead?”

“And what are we going to teach students? The vital points to target in the human body when disabling a terrorist? How to identify and detonate over a dozen types of bombs?” Chinen replied. “Plus, we don’t have the height to look the part.”

“…Point,” Yamada said, fidgeting with the collar of his hoodie and glancing at the horde of students milling about the campus grounds. He was dressed normally, but his silver hair still attracted curious looks. “But I still don’t like this.”

“Me either,” Chinen murmured, leaning his head on Yamada’s shoulder as he yawned. “I hate kids.”

“They’re our age, and a majority of them are at least a head taller than the both of us,” Yamada pointed out.

Chinen waved his hand dismissively over a group of giggling guys and girls seated around a table. “The blatant flirtation is disgusting. How can anyone study with all these pheromones floating around?” he said.

“Why do you sound like you’re channelling an old man?” Yamada said, running his hands through his silver (bed) hair. “As if you’re not Captain Flirt yourself.”

“You’re confusing my natural charm and adorableness with flirtation,” Chinen said, cocking an eyebrow at Yamada and covering his mouth with his hands in mock surprise. “Oh my gosh, did you ever think I flirted with you before?”

Yamada sighed and yawned. “Why did I even start this conversation again?”

Chinen dropped his hands and shrugged. Yamada leant against the wall, hugging his backpack to his chest. “Why are you even here? Are you having fatherly feelings and wanted to send me to school?” he asked skeptically. “You do know I’m not actually going, right?”

“You think I’d be awake this early if I was just here for fun?” Chinen asked, yawning to emphasize his point.

Yamada shrugged. “I know your determination when it comes to seeing your friends suffer for your entertainment. Who am I to judge?” he said.

Chinen swatted at his head. “I was assigned here, you idiot,” he said. “Inoo-kun said something about ‘an unforeseen incident’ or something.”

Yamada raised an eyebrow at that. “What?”

Before Chinen could reply, a nervous cough came from beside Yamada. He looked up, putting up his hand to shield his eyes from the glare of the early morning sun as he peered up at the (very tall) stranger.

“Yamada… Ryosuke-kun?” the newcomer asked nervously. Yamada nodded, but didn’t speak. The stranger cleared his throat, fiddling with the edges of his scarf. “I was told to meet you? I’m Nakajima Yuto.”

“Yes, this is sounding more like a script from a bad mafia movie,” Chinen muttered, sighing loudly before thumping both of them on the back. “I’m Chinen Yuri. We all know why we’re here, so let’s not waste time with pleasantries. Yutti, lead the way to your class.”

“Y-yutti?” Yuto asked. A corner of Yamada’s lips lifted as he made a conscious effort not to smile at the way Chinen raised his eyebrow at their client despite the gaping twenty centimeter height difference.

“Why? Do you want a new nickname? Yuto-pon has a nice ring to it too, now that I think about it,” he said.

“Just let him call you Yutti, or else he’ll just come up with more embarrassing nicknames,” Yamada advised Yuto.

“Does he usually call people with their first name?” he asked.

“He’s a weird child, please excuse his ways,” Yamada answered by way of explanation. Yuto grinned at Yamada and nodded.

Yamada shielded the rays of the early morning sun and fully looked at Yuto’s face for the first time.


“Can I call you Yama-chan then?” he asked. Chinen smirked behind Yuto’s back at Yamada, blatantly pointing at Yuto and—was he waggling his eyebrows?

“O...kay?” Yamada answered hesitantly. Yuto nodded, his smile growing wider before turning back to Chinen to ask him a question. Chinen winked at Yamada before replying to Yuto, but Yamada was too busy pulling out his phone and sending an e-mail to their boss to do more than quickly glare at him.

To: Inoo Kei
Subject: I know what you’re doing.

this is why there were no clear pictures in the file. I thought that was suspicious.
I know what you’re doing.
I hate you.
(Please don’t fire me, you know I’m just joking.
But I still hate you.
And you owe me strawberries after this.)
(And don’t you dare bet with Hikaru and Shida about this.)

Yamada pressed his thumb to his phone’s screen with more force than necessary. A few seconds later his phone vibrated, showing that he had one new message. He opened the mail and stared at his boss’s reply in disbelief.

From: Inoo Kei
Subject: None


Yamada sighed loudly, stuffing his phone into the pocket of his hoodie and hoisting the straps of his backpack up his shoulder.

“Is something wrong?” Yuto asked.

Yamada frowned and shook his head in reply. They all filed into the classroom and chose seats in the middle of the class. Chinen had somehow maneuvered that Yamada sit beside Yuto.

“Don’t mind him, he’s probably just nervous,” Chinen piped up from beside Yuto.

“It’s okay, I felt the same way my first day,” Yuto said, smiling at Yamada. Someone called Yuto’s name, and as he turned to wave at the person Yamada sent a quick glare at Chinen’s direction. Chinen, being himself, just smirked at Yamada in reply. Sighing, Yamada took out a pencil and a notebook; since he was playing the student, he should at least act the part.

This was going to be a long day.

“Are you for real?” Yamada said five hours later, still recovering from jaw dropping. They were in the open parking lot of the university, and the three of them were standing in front of a sleek white (and very expensive and super limited) convertible. Yuto rubbed the nape of his neck, the skin a faint shade of blush pink.

Chinen poked Yuto on the arm, nodding his head. “Yup, it seems so,” he confirmed with a solemn expression on his face. Yamada swatted at Chinen’s hand as Yuto laughed.

“It’s not a big deal. It’s not like I bought it with my own money or anything,” Yuto said, suddenly quiet and serious as he absently patted the hood of the car. Yamada watched for a moment as Yuto’s fingers slowly drummed on the steel before clapping Yuto hard on the shoulder (he hates that he had to reach up so high, what the hell puberty). Yuto jumped in surprise, looking down at him (again, what the hell puberty).

“We could drive you home if you’re not feeling up to it,” Yamada said.

“Is that part of the job description? Because I could perfectly go home by myself,” Yuto said, albeit a little grumpy. “I don’t need to be babied.”

“Hey, we’re not babysitters,” Chinen cut in, levelling a glare at Yuto’s direction. “We’re actual professionals, got that? Unless you do something stupid, you would never have to feel like you’re being coddled.”

Yuto looked taken aback but nodded slowly. “Sorry,” he said.

Chinen waved his hand dismissively, and then looked at his watch before clapping Yamada and Yuto on the back. “Well, that’s me for today,” he said.

“Huh? Where are you going?” Yamada asked in confusion.

Chinen leaned forward to whisper into his ear. “Somewhere where I won’t be disturbing Inoo-kun’s master plan,” he said. He pulled back and simpered at Yamada before nodding at Yuto and sauntering off.

“Is he usually this carefree?” Yuto asked, looking at Chinen’s retreating back.

Yamada shook his head and shrugged, having long given up on explaining the enigma that is Chinen Yuri. He eyed the backpack that Yuto had placed into the trunk of his car. “Are you going home for the day?” he asked politely.

Yuto stared at Yamada and blinked before retrieving things out of his bag, placing his wallet, phone and keys into his pockets before carefully drawing out a camera from his bag. “I was planning to go for a walk around the campus and take some pictures… will that be too much trouble?” he asked worriedly.

Yamada looked at Yuto, raising his eyebrows in surprise. Most people would either act like bodyguards were a nuisance or else pretend that they don’t exist.

He guessed Yuto wasn’t like most people.

Yamada shook his head. “No it’s okay. But would I be a bother? I can watch over a few paces back if you want to be alone,” he said, then paused. “...This sounds weird right? It’s like I’m asking for your permission to stalk you or something.”

Yuto laughed and shook his head. “The company would be nice, actually. I usually do this alone, or with my best friend when she isn’t busy being awesome.”

Yamada watched the gentle smile that came up at Yuto’s face when he mentioned his best friend and felt a little twinge in his heart.

Chinen had looked up from the pool table where he was planning out his next shot when Yamada banged the door to the recreation center open, his head covered with the hood of his jacket and his face hidden with a black face mask. The other guy playing with him greeted Yamada with a wave and a big smile.

“Yamada-kun, welcome home!” he said brightly, almost poking himself in the eye with his billiard stick.

“Hello, Hikaru-kun,” Yamada replied in a sullen tone, voice muffled by his face mask.

“What happened to you?” Inoo asked pleasantly from the couch, raising his teacup in greeting.

“As if you don’t know,” Yamada shot back, throwing himself down on the couch next to Inoo.

Inoo raised his shoulders in a delicate shrug. “That’s why I was asking. I’ll be expecting an official report on my desk before 9AM tomorrow morning, okay?” he said.

“Inoo’s code words for ‘I want all the juicy details’,” Hikaru said, sharing a mischievous grin with Chinen. Inoo smiled, not even denying it as he stood up and patted Yamada on the head, flicking at Hikaru’s forehead on his way out of the door.

“Don’t forget your report okay,” Inoo called out over his shoulder. Yamada saluted in reply, keeping his stance until the door closed behind Inoo. When he was sure their leader was out of earshot, he slumped down on the couch and let out a long sigh.

Hikaru looked over at Yamada and inclined his head. “Sorry about our Inoo-kun, you know what he’s like when he feels like playing Cupid,” he said.

“He’s so shameless about being a matchmaker, it’s ridiculous,” he replied, pulling his legs up to his chest and grabbing one of the pillows on the sofa.

“How did your date go?” Chinen asked. Yamada pointedly glared at him as he pulled off his face mask, tossing it at his direction.

“Shut up, it wasn’t a date,” Yamada muttered darkly. “You were the one being all defensive about calling it an ‘official assignment’ anyway, then deciding to leave me halfway.”

“Awww, did you guys miss me? I can’t blame you, I’m adorable,” Chinen said with a smug grin.

“Your self-confidence never fails to amaze me,” Shida said, coming into the room with Kamiki following right after her.

“Just stating the truth,” Chinen said with a shrug, leaning over the table and taking aim, crowing when his shot got three balls in at the same time. Kamiki called the attention of the billiard players and they all gathered around a tablet that Kamiki had in his hands, apparently discussing a programming code that they had been writing together. Yamada pouted and sunk his face into the pillow he was hugging to his chest. Shida sat down beside Yamada and poked him on the cheek.

“Why are you being so mopey? You’re usually a lot more cheerful and professional on the first day of your assignment,” Shida said, her finger still pressing into Yamada’s cheek.

Yamada batted her hand away and frowned. “I am being professional about this!” he argued. “Clearly everyone else doesn’t want me to be!”

“We care about your future! And okay, maybe we have good money riding on this, so of course we do!” Chinen said, looking up from the screen of the tablet. “We didn’t ask for you to jump his bones right away though, so really, no pressure.”

Yamada threw a pillow at Chinen, which the latter easily avoided.

“We just want this to go well, for everyone’s sanity and your happiness,” Chinen reasoned out, picking up the fallen pillow and throwing it back at Yamada. “And your aim sucks.”

“Be thankful that wasn’t a knife,” Yamada said, sitting back and burying his face on Shida’s shoulder.

Shida laughed and ruffled Yamada’s hair. “Quit moping around and start writing that report. You probably have homework to do as well,” she reminded him. Yamada’s answering groan probably counted as an affirmation.

“Man, why did I agree to do this?” Yamada asked no one in particular.

“Give it up, Yamada-kun,” Kamiki advised.

“What happened to you?” Yuto asked after Yamada yawned for the fourth time in the span of ten minutes.

“Homework is hard. How do you college kids manage to have social lives after everything? The problem sets were endless,” Yamada complained.

“I… don’t know?” Yuto answered. He pointed at Chinen, his chin resting on his hand and evidently fast asleep. “Did he stay up late to do homework too?”

Yamada snorted. “No way, he finished all the homework in an hour, and refused to help me answer mine, by the way. He just stayed up late playing online MMORPGs because his teammates live on the other side of the International Date Line,” he said.

“An hour?” Yuto said in disbelief, looking at Chinen with newfound respect. “Is he a genius or something?”

“His IQ’s around 200 I think, give or take,” Yamada said with a shrug, covering his mouth with the back of his hand to hide his yawn. Yuto looked over him and frowned.

“You look really tired, are you sure you’re okay?” Yuto asked, the concern evident in his voice.

Yamada waved his hand in front of his face. “I’m fine,” he said, stifling another huge yawn.  “I just had a lot more paperwork to go through,” he said.

Yuto frowned. “You should really rest,” he said worriedly.

Yamada shook his head. “I can’t slack off on official duty!” he insisted.

“What about him?” Yuto asked, pointing at Chinen.

“Still not on official duty,” Chinen suddenly answered, eyes still closed. He opened one eye and somehow managed to glare at both of them. “You’re not my official assignment, Yutti, so you guys should just let me sleep,” he said, closing his eyes and burying his face in his arms. “If you both value your life, you know not to disturb me.”

Yamada and Yuto both stared at the sleeping Chinen, both sporting a look of confusion on their faces—Yamada especially, who had thought all along that Chinen had been assigned as his mission partner. Before they could manage to wheedle out more answers from him, however, the professor had arrived, and Yamada tried his best to stay awake for the three-hour lecture period.

Tried being the operative word.

“Yama-chan?” a voice said faintly from beside him.

Yamada stirred, raising his head a few centimeters before fully jolting awake.

The classroom was completely empty except for him and the person sitting next to him, whose shoulder he has apparently been using as a pillow. Yamada blushed as he sat up, blinking slowly to reorient himself with his surroundings.

“Where is everyone?” Yamada asked, looking around wildly and not even noticing that his hair was sticking out in crazy directions.

Yuto experimentally rolled his shoulders before replying. “Class ended about ten minutes ago. Chinen-kun said I should let you sleep because you were up late arranging extra security measures for me,” he said, biting his lip and bowing towards Yamada.  I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve been causing you.”

“That brat,” Yamada muttered; he can clearly imagine the look on Chinen’s face when he caught Yamada sleeping on Yuto’s shoulder. He ran his fingers through his already messy hair, making it look crazier than it already is.

“I’m really sorry for falling asleep on duty. I promise I’m usually not this sloppy at all. My behaviour is inexcusable,” Yamada said, bowing down to Yuto. Yuto’s eyes widened, flailing his hands and making Yamada raise his head.

“It’s fine, really, Yama-chan. See, no injuries, no death threats, no attempts at my safety!” he hurriedly assured Yamada.

Yamada bit his lip. “But there could have been! I shouldn’t have slacked off!” he said.

Yuto firmly placed his hand on Yamada’s shoulder. “Hey. Yama-chan, look at me,” he said. His voice, soft and quiet, carried across the room. Yamada reluctantly looked up, his brown eyes meeting Yuto’s brown ones that were almost amber in the light. Yuto stared at Yamada before he slowly reached out his hand, hesitating before gently holding Yamada’s chin and softly tugging at it, making Yamada release the lip he was chewing on.

“I’m here. I’m fine. Okay? I won’t disappear that easily,” Yuto said.

“Looks like somebody’s scoring around here,” Chinen said with a wicked grin, eyeing the bruised lip Yamada was sporting from chewing on it earlier. Yamada ignored the innuendo. In fact, he ignored Chinen completely. He was dreamily throwing knives at the dartboard behind the door, all the blades crowding around the middle of the dart board.

“What happened to him?” Hikaru asked, narrowly avoiding being skewered by one of the knives Yamada threw as he went to sit next to Chinen and Kamiki.

Kamiki shrugged. “He’s been acting like that ever since he got home from surveillance,” he said.

“Something good probably happened with Yutti,” Chinen said, frowning at how he was being ignored.

“Weren’t you with him?” Hikaru asked.

“I left early. Yutti isn’t my official assignment anyway,” Chinen said, stretching his arms over his head. “Also, I was sleepy.”

“Oi Yamada,” Hikaru said, trying to call Yamada’s attention. When that failed, he huffed in frustration, caught up the knife lying in the fruit bowl next to a half-peeled papaya and threw it at the knife Yamada had just thrown. The two blades met mid-air, both impaling the hardwood floor. Chinen and Kamiki both winced, and Yamada finally looked at the other three people in the room.

“Oh. Hi guys,” he said, a dazed smile on his face.

“Finally, lover boy is back with us,” Chinen commented. Yamada simply smiled at him.

“Seriously, did he drink one of Shida’s drugs by accident or something?” Kamiki asked, actually looking scared.

“I didn’t! I’m not stupid,” Yamada answered, pouting at Kamiki.

“Well, you’re acting a lot like it,” Chinen quipped. Yamada stuck out his tongue at him and sank back into the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest and the dopey smile back on his face.

“Best not let Shida see that,” Kamiki said, inclining his head to the knives still staked to the floor.

“Not let me see what?” Shida said, opening the door. A few knives fell from the dartboard and got stuck point-first on the floor. Chinen and Kamiki silently winced in unison as Hikaru slowly sank down from his seat to hide under the table. Yamada gulped and raised the pillow to hide his face.


“I keep forgetting to ask, but what do you mean by Yuto-kun not being your official assignment? I thought you were assigned as my back-up partner,” Yamada asked Chinen. They were leaning against their usual pillar, waiting for Yuto to show up.

“Inoo-chan said so. I wasn’t about to argue,” Chinen answered. “He said it’s a secret surveillance request from the person’s parents, and that it’s a person close to Yutti. For now, Inoo-chan said I should go along with your classes so it wouldn’t look suspicious.”

“Doesn’t that make you suspicious?” said Yamada doubtfully. “It sounds to me like Inoo-kun has something up his sleeve.”

“He always does,” Chinen said with a resigned sigh. “I just try to prepare myself and make sure to act surprised when he’s there to see it.”

“Yama-chan!” a voice called out. Yamada and Chinen looked up to see Yuto waving enthusiastically at them. Yamada returned his wave and smile and turned to see Chinen hiding a smirk.

“What?” Yamada said.

“I’m here too, you know,” Chinen complained just as Yuto reached them.

“Did something happen?” Yuto asked.

“Nothing, it’s just Chinen being himself. Good morning, Yuto-kun,” Yamada said.

“Good morning!” Yuto replied, smiling brightly. Chinen let out a huge yawn and smiled sleepily at Yamada, a corner of his lip lifted up in a smirk.

Yamada saw Chinen’s expression and hoisted his backpack higher up his shoulders. “Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not going to give you a piggyback ride to class,” he said sternly.

Chinen chuckled. “Nothing; I just noticed you call Yutti by his first name,” he said.

Yamada stared. “You call him with a nickname,” he pointed out.

“I’m still here, guys,” Yuto reminded the both of them.

“You’re our one hundred and eighty centimeter portable shade from the sun; we know,” Chinen said to Yuto before crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow at Yamada. “You usually call everyone with their surnames,” he said.

Yamada scratched the tip of his nose, studiously avoiding meeting Yuto’s gaze. “So?”

Chinen’s grin widened. “Nothing in particular~” he said. Yamada pulled down his beanie over his ears, hoping that the rest of his face wasn’t as red as he felt it was.

The three of them walked to class, Chinen chatting up Yuto as Yamada checked his phone and discreetly looked around for suspicious people. He heard Yuto laugh and Yamada turned to see that he had his own phone out, Chinen shamelessly peeking at the screen.

“What is it?” Chinen asked. Yuto looked up with a smile on his face, showing his phone to the two of them. There was a picture of a girl standing in front of a mirror, her phone covering her face and her free hand held in a peace sign. The words “found it!” with a smiley face and a heart were scribbled on the edge of the picture with the help of a photo-editing software application.

“Suzu-chan was looking for an Olaf phone case everywhere. She’s been sending me the lyrics of Let It Go since she watched the movie; it’s annoyingly cute, even if I don’t understand about half the things she sent me,” he said, a fondness warming his voice.

Yamada quietly slipped his phone back into his pocket as Chinen began asking Yuto about his other classes, sitting back and trying not to think too much about the way Yuto had sounded when he said the girl’s name.

Because if he thinks about it too much, he’ll just remember how similar it had sounded to the time Yuto had promised he won’t disappear.

Continued in Part 2
xingphonicxingphonic on December 30th, 2014 11:32 am (UTC)
Author-sama;;; /cries all over you

Firstly I am so sorry if my request in itself was what gave you problems - i promise you that was not my intention;;;;;;

;u; i’ve had an emotional day, so i will probably be crying more on you throughout the course of reading this, bc i’m live-commenting this on all three parts ok <3

*takes a deep breath and begins reading*

Yamada has a knife yamada has a knife yamada has a kniiiiiiiiiiiiiiife and he’s handling it like a boss sobs

CHINEN YURI IS TYPING OUT SOME SORT OF ILLEGAL CODE i have no words to describe my feelings about programmers in fic, especially such snarky ones like chinen.

Yamada. Is. Going. To. Babysit. Yuto.

whimpers because inoo is their boss ohgod inoo


/“I didn’t miss anyway.”/

Only ten minutes in and Chinen is so done with everything already


“five different levels of judgemental all at once” shidaaaaaaa ;u;

inoo making people’s lives difficult is one of my favourite things ngl

“And I have three hypodermic needles with muscle paralysis and breathing constriction drugs,”
Shida out-badasses Yamada on any kind of day

silver hair yamadaaaaaaaaa i know it’s mentioned in the author’s note but jfc i’m never going to get over yamada’s silver hair T_T <3

“Because you’re better with knives and guns and using your muscles for more… physical things.
i feel as though her hesitation is going to become clear later or is that wishful thinking;;
(seriously though, /yamada muscles/)

“I need to earn my keep,” Yamada said as a response. Chinen sat up and met Yamada’s gaze.

“Maybe something good would come out of it,” he said, stretching his arms and yawning. “Inoo-kun got involved after all. He’s got great taste.”

Yamada furrowed his eyebrows. “…why are you making it sound like I’m going to a cake buffet?” he said suspiciously. “It’s an official assignment!”

Chinen shared a grin with Shida. “Oh I dunno, maybe you’ll get some pretty good mancake after this mission. Pun intended, all rights reserved,” he said.


“I need a constant reminder of why I’m friends with you guys.”

“Because you don’t have much of a choice pool,”



this friendship <3333333333 ugh their friendship is the best

“can’t we be professors instead” yamada did you forget the part where you’re twenty one

“Plus, we don’t have the height to look the part.”
one point to chinen

“Me either,” Chinen murmured, leaning his head on Yamada’s shoulder as he yawned. “I hate kids.”
chinen yuri everyone.
but also, same, chinen, same.

i should probably pause here and say that when i first opened this i forgot i should actually expect to scream over chinen as much as i am now which is frankly pretty stupid of me but you quickly reminded me. i will try not to be so repetitive in my endless sobbing but you can safely assume that every word that comes out of chinen’s mouth here i am screaming about because your snark is perfect

but chinen /is/ an old man in disguise
…………yamada’s silver bed hair now that is a good image;;

omg “are you having fatherly feelings and wanted to send me to school” i honestly thought chinen would be undercover student with yamada as well because i just assumed, and now i’m just cracking up at yamada’s skepticism

inoo is so mysterious i love it

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yuto hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

ofc chinen calls him yutti immediately YUTO-PON /STOP/

……../oh/ sounds about right


INOO KEI YOU ARE RIDICULOUS. cue tears because oh god all inoo playing such a large role here, i wasn’t joking when i said i’d be happy with inoo being like, the person sweeping corridors or something, or that boy who always sat in the back of the classroom dsfhajlkjfhas but he’s /the actual troll boss who likes to matchmake employees and make people’s lives hard and bet on various situations/ and i have so many feelings
inoo you owe him strawberries
xingphonicxingphonic on December 30th, 2014 11:33 am (UTC)
....I am a reknowned comment monster i am sorry ;u; ♥

CHINEN WHY ARE YOU HERE AHAHAHAHAHAH besides making yamada’s life more difficult than it already is sobs he has to play a student /yama-channnnnn/

"what the hell puberty" i snorted

and then chinen just leaves hahahahaha jfc is inoo playing matchmaker again i just

chinen simpers at yamada my brain is gonna explode

“it’s like i’m asking for your permission to stalk you or something”
yamada bb

……suzuka-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ;-;


inoo raising his teacup in greeting is a charming image and also “inoo’s code word for 'i want all the juicy details’” FFS INOO 200% DONE WITH YOU AND YOUR PENCHANT FOR GOSSIP by which i mean don’t stop, everything is perfect and i am a sobbing mess


hiiiiiii kamiki
;;;;kamiki is a programmer too ;u; hello


“No way, he finished all the homework in an hour, and refused to help me answer mine, by the way. He just stayed up late playing online MMORPGs because his teammates live on the other side of the International Date Line”
ofc. /ofc/
CHINEN’S ASLEEP ALREADY will never not enjoy how shameless he is

i wonder what his official assignment is I’m so intriguedddddddddd

ew ew ew ew ew three hour+ lectures are the worst ljsdhfkjhfda

second day of class he sleeps on Yuto’s shoulder GOOD JOB
(did chinen take a picture)

aww yamada please stop beating yourself up <3

His voice, soft and quiet, carried across the room. Yamada reluctantly looked up, his brown eyes meeting Yuto’s brown ones that were almost amber in the light. Yuto stared at Yamada before he slowly reached out his hand, hesitating before gently holding Yamada’s chin and softly tugging at it, making Yamada release the lip he was chewing on.

“I’m here. I’m fine. Okay? I won’t disappear that easily,” Yuto said.


The two blades met mid-air, both impaling the hardwood floor.
oh my god this is intense knives everywhere, all the time and yamada’s only response is a dazed “oh hi guys :D"

“I just try to prepare myself and make sure to act surprised when he’s there to see it.”
most excellent.

Yuto and Suzuka are best friends. Suzuuuuuuukaaaaaaa. ugh this is cute, so cute. and aww, olaf phone case /rolls everywhere

Because if he thinks about it too much, he’ll just remember how similar it had sounded to the time Yuto had promised he won’t disappear.