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30 December 2014 @ 12:37 am
Occupational Hazard (3/3) (for xingphonic)  
Title: Occupational Hazard
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 15,531 words
Recipient: xingphonic
Summary: What happens when the boss of the secret spy organization you are a part of is also a self-proclaimed matchmaker? Feelings, of course. A lot of feelings.
Author's Note: The request asked for silver-haired Yamada and alternate universes (and Inoo playing a major role, which is Very Important), and I went through three drafts before finally deciding to continue this one for the exchange assignment. I really don’t know what happened afterwards, I am so sorry. And this is so late and I am probably stripped of all anonymity by now so Recipient-sama I just want to let you know I will make it up to you in some way, I promise. Special thanks to all my cheerleaders and my lovely beta, and to the mods who are ordering me to a forced hiatus after everything to get to rest and for understanding how late I am. I hope this fic would make it up for my lateness by fulfilling Recipient-sama’s requests. Thank you for waiting and sorry for being the cause of delay ;u; This has been a heck of an emotional roller coaster and I hope everyone finds something they enjoy in this story ;u;

Continued from Part 2

Yamada wasn’t sure when he had started cataloging Yuto’s expressions

Maybe it was the time he caught him nodding off at class, his eyelashes grazing his cheeks.

Or the time he had called Yamada to go to school early to watch the sunrise with him, both their eyes bleary and half-closed but eventually growing wider at the shifting of the clouds and the lightening sky.

The way he pouted at Ohgo and the way his face looked when she pinched his cheeks.

Or was it the little glances and smiles Yuto throws at his direction? When he was puzzling over a question, when he asks Yuto about his schedule, when he drove Yuto home the one time he accidentally drank something alcoholic in a coffee shop (with Chinen, Shida and Hikaru smirking while he was leaving to go fetch Yuto), or one of the many moments that Yamada had been unconsciously taking note of and reviewed every night before he falls asleep at night?

Or when he looks back and realizes it’s been three months and a lot of the things he remembers are not things that make it to his official mission assignment update reports. Because somehow, all these expressions seemed too private to share on a technical report.

Yamada remembers every single one of them, and he never wants to forget.

So he keeps them, and then takes them out every night when no one could see how he smiles in the memory of every single one of them.

“Now you’re just being mean,” Hikaru complained, frowning over the Monopoly board. He was playing against Shida and Kamiki, the couple somehow buying the majority of the properties between the two of them and enjoying making Hikaru pay rent in every turn he makes. “Why the hell would you build a hotel on a freaking railroad? That’s just creepy horror movie material.”

“Just pay up, Hikaru-kun,” Yamada said in a bored voice. He was lying face down on the couch while the others crowded around the coffee table, blowing on the paper money in the plastic tray. Too lazy to play himself, he was somehow convinced by Shida to be the banker, dealing out the paper money to the other three. It was mostly a silent ploy from everyone in the agency to stop Yamada from inadvertently ruining the furniture by throwing knives anywhere when he’s bored, and so far it seemed to be working.

“I’m bankrupt already, you scamming lovebirds,” he said, flinging down his three property cards and the measly amount of money he had left.

“Such a sore loser, it’s not attractive, Hikaru-kun,” Shida said, sharing a high five with Kamiki.

“One more game?” Hikaru suggested, already gathering up the board game pieces and paper money. “I’ll win this time for sure.”

“You said that for the last three games already. Give it up, Hikaru-kun,” Yamada advised. “You’ll end up betting your actual life savings and still not win.”

“You talk as if you actually win in these things,” Hikaru scoffed, looking pointedly at Yamada.

Shida laughed. “Yeah Yama-chan, you never win in Monopoly. Or in life, for that matter,” she said.

“Ha ha,” Yamada replied sarcastically, flinging a pillow at Shida’s direction.

“Either you’re too lazy to snark back or that didn’t have much of an impact,” Hikaru said, messing around with the Chance and Community Chest cards and beginning to make a flimsy card tower.

“Dealing with Chinen Yuri will increase your mental fortitude,” Yamada said, pillowing his chin over his folded arm and looking around. “Where is he, anyway? He’d be gloating all over his winnings by now if he was playing too.”

“Didn’t he have a new mission assignment? That girl,” Kamiki asked.

“Huh? What girl?” Yamada asked in confusion.

“...Um,” Kamiki said. Hikaru looked up from the card tower he was now making and raised his eyebrows at Kamiki.

“Kamiki,” he said, a warning threat on his voice. “What did you do this time?”

Kamiki fidgeted in his seat, avoiding eye contact with everyone else. “I was writing this program for file and password decryption and… sort of accidentally hacked into Inoo-kun’s files,” he said guiltily.

There was a beat of silence before Hikaru’s flimsy card tower collapsed.

“...Only you can do those things accidentally and actually be telling the truth,” Hikaru said in awe.

“Isn’t he awesome?” Shida said proudly, kissing Kamiki’s cheek and causing him to blush. Hikaru pretended to vomit into the Monopoly box.

“Wait, what do you mean by Chinen’s new mission assignment? I’ve been with him for the past three days, just like when my mission with Yuto-kun started,” Yamada said. “He hasn’t mentioned anything about it.”

“Isn’t it the girl you’re always with? You know, Nakajima-kun’s best friend, the one Chinen won’t shut up about,” Shida said.

“Ohgo-san?” Yamada said incredulously. “But that’s—it—wait. That actually makes sense.”

Shida leaned back against Kamiki’s shoulder, a slow smile spreading across her face. “Heh~” she said, like she just remembered a very funny inside joke.

“So that’s why he won’t leave her alone. And he kept looking after her when we’re all together in a room. And he did sort of casually ask for her schedule that one time,” Yamada said, counting off with his fingers and staring at his hands. “Wow, I feel really stupid right now.”

“That’s not exactly new,” Hikaru piped up, grinning at the death glare Yamada sent at his direction.

“But isn’t it awesome? Chinen-kun’s assignment turning out to be Nakajima-san’s friend,” Kamiki commented.

“Yeah, Inoo-kun thinks that fate is his middle name,” Yamada deadpanned.

“I think he’s warming up more to ‘Cupid’ to be honest,” Shida said.

Yamada was about to say something when his phone began ringing. He looked at the unregistered number for a moment before pressing Answer.

“Hello?” he said cautiously.

“Are you dressed?” a voice that he recognized as Ohgo said without preamble.

“What?” he said, raising himself from his position on the couch.

“Just answer the question. And I don’t need details if you aren’t,” she said.

Yamada looked down at his jeans, v-neck shirt and gray hoodie. “Uh… I am?”

“I’m right outside. Can I kidnap you for a bit?” she asked.

“What? You’re outside? How did you even know our place?” he said, looking at the other three people in the room who were all raising eyebrows from hearing his part of the conversation. “Uh, okay. I’ll just… get my stuff?”

“See you,” she said, then cut the call. Yamada brought down the phone from his ear and stared at it.

“What just happened?” Hikaru asked.

“I don’t know,” Yamada said, dumbfounded, still staring at his phone. He snapped out of it and stood up, grabbing his phone and wallet and pulling a beanie over the impossible mess that is his hair before stuffing his feet into sneakers and shrugging on a black leather rider jacket.

“I’ll be out for a bit. I guess,” he said, waving goodbye to the three Monopoly players before exiting the room. Shida looked at the closed door, a worried frown on her face as Hikaru looked at boxes of board games they had.

“...Game of Life?” he offered.

“I thought you had an actual emergency,” Yamada said, his voice muffled from behind the pile of clothes he was carrying in his arms. For some reason, Ohgo had dragged him to a nearby mall and was making him carry the clothes she wanted to try on.

Ohgo looked up from the two tops she was considering. “I didn’t say anything about an emergency. Does your brain automatically go to the worst case scenario?” she said. “You should really be more optimistic about life.”

Yamada laughed. “Sorry, occupational hazard,” he said, blowing away a piece of lacy ribbon that was getting into his mouth. “What’s the occasion anyway?”

“I just wanted to spend time with you,” she said. “Can’t girls bond with guy friends too?”

He snorted, pointedly shifting the pile of clothes in his arms. “This relationship has got to be two-way at some point in the near future,” he said.

“Awww, would you like to try on some too?” she asked, and then held up a white dress with a huge red rose spreading from the hem of the skirt to him. “This would look good with your skin tone!”

“Never mind,” he said, adjusting his grip on the clothes. “What’s the occasion, anyway? Are you going to a party or something?”

She took some time to answer, putting back the dress on the rack and absently playing with the frills at the hem. “It sounds shallow but... I want to look pretty,” she said with a sigh.

He blinked, genuine confusion in his face. “But you are pretty,” he said.

She smiled and looked down, letting her hair fall forward and cover the blush on her face. “Thank you,” she said, her sincere gratitude packed into every syllable. He grinned, nudging her lightly with his elbow while somehow managing to balance all the clothes.

“Anybody particular in mind you want to impress?” he said with a grin. Her blush deepened, and even as she turned her back on the pretense of looking at dresses at another rack Yamada could see the splotchy red of the blush spreading on the back of her neck.

“I’m doing this for myself… but maybe,” she said, casually shrugging.

“Well I’m sure he’ll like whatever you choose in the end,” he said.

“You think?” she asked.

He grinned. “Or, you know, I can threaten him about not hurting you or making you cry, like a certain someone I remember,” he said, his tone teasing.

She whirled around and whacked him on the arm. “Hey, it was a perfectly legitimate concern!” she protested.

“Yeah, dragging me off to a coffee shop and threatening to cause me pain of the highest degrees is not scary at all,” he continued, pretending to shudder. “I think I’ve developed a phobia for coffee shops.”

“Chinen-kun is rubbing off you,” she said, flinging two more dresses into the pile in his arms in retaliation and marching off.

“I resent that!” he called out, following after her. She turned around, grabbed a pastel blue dress and stared at it for a few moments.

“I’ll get this one!” she said decisively. Yamada poked his head out from behind the clothes he was carrying.

“How about all of these?” he asked. She smiled in response and he groaned.

“Just what exactly were those past three hours for?” he said in a resigned voice.

“Sorry,” she said, then pulled out a dress from the pile in his hands. “I want to get this but I’m not sure if it’ll fit me,” she said.

“Why don’t you go try it out?” he said, inclining his head towards the direction of the fitting room. He gestured to the clothes in his arms. “I’ll just return the rest from where we got them. Saves the shop attendants the trouble.”

“No, I can do it myself—” she said, reaching for the clothes.

Yamada stepped back. “You do have to wait for your turn in the dressing rooms, though. It’s fine, really, it won’t take me more than a minute,” he said.

Ohgo hesitated, looking at him before smiling. “I could see why Yuto smiles more these days,” she said. Yamada’s brow furrowed at the statement, but before he could ask Ohgo had turned on her heel and had left for the changing rooms.

“Why aren’t you with Yuto-kun today, though?” she asked, holding up a couple of neckties against his cheek.

“My official assignment is as an undercover bodyguard while he’s at school,” Yamada said, fidgeting. “Why are we here?” he added in an undertone.

“We’re shopping,” she answered, puzzling over an overwhelming display of cufflinks.

“But it’s the men’s section,” he said.

She looked at him. “We’re shopping for you,” she said, an excited twinkle in her eyes, going back to a pair of cufflinks shaped like guns and talking to a shop attendant. Yamada discreetly peeked at the price tag of the neckties and stared in disbelief.

“Ohgo-san,” he hissed under his breath, pulling at the sleeve of her cardigan.

“What is it? Do we have to escape from assassins?” she whispered back. “I could totally pull out ninja moves in these heels.”

“We can’t shop here, I can’t afford the things in this place!” he said, sounding distressed. “They have too many zeroes!”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “And don’t call me by my surname, Suzuka is already fine.”

“But—” he started to protest. Ohgo just laughed and put her hands on his shoulders, making him turn, still protesting, as she pushed him towards the direction of the fitting rooms.

“You own this mall?” Yamada said, poking his head out from behind the changing room’s curtain. Ohgo sighed, pushing at his forehead lightly with her fingertips to make him go back inside.

“Not me exactly, but yes, my family owns this mall. This store, specifically, but let’s not get into that,” she said. “So don’t worry about payment, it’s on the house.”

“I can’t accept something like this, Ohgo-san,” he said, sounding highly distressed.

“The shop attendants know you’re with me since you won’t stop calling me by my surname, so you don’t really have a choice,” she answered. “They won’t make you pay, or even accept your money even if you tried.”

“That sounds extremely unfair and I don’t even know why,” he said.

Ohgo laughed softly. “Just try on the suit, Yamada-kun, it won’t hurt you,” she said. “And really, stop calling me by my last name or I’ll get you another suit.”

“You should call me by my first name too, since we’re doing this. Or ‘Yama-chan’, or whatever you’re more comfortable with, really,” he said.

She smiled. “Yama-chan, then.”

He shrugged off his leather jacket (“Really? A leather jacket? You’re a walking character study.” “It was on sale!”) and his hoodie, slipping his shirt over his head and taking off his beanie with it. “Why a suit though?” he asked, raising his voice a little to be heard from the thick curtain.

“Since of the secret agent thing. You have to channel your James Bond sometimes in fancy events, and it’ll be nice to make sure you look handsome when you do,” she answered. “Chinen wouldn’t stop quoting James Bond after that. He said he’ll find a mission assignment that would make him wear a suit all the time.”

Yamada paused and then poked his head out of the curtain so fast he almost hit his head against Ohgo, who was leaning on the wall next to the stall he was changing in. “Wait, Chinen—you know?!”

“He told me,” she said, taking in the expression on Yamada’s face. “...was he not supposed to do that?”

“Honestly? I don’t even know anymore,” he said, sighing. “I didn’t even know he was assigned to you officially until a few hours earlier.”

Ohgo opened her mouth, then fully looked at him for the first time. “You should really put some clothes on,” she said, pushing at Yamada’s bare shoulder that was peeking out of the curtain as well. “You’re giving free fanservice to the shop attendants.”

He blushed, disappearing behind the curtain of the changing stall.

“Ne, Yama-chan?”

“Hmm?” he said, toeing off his jeans.

“What do you like about Yuto?”

He paused, embarrassed at how the mirror showed the blush spreading across his neck and face like wildfire.

“...I would really prefer to have this conversation when I’m not taking my pants off,” he said uncertainly.

He heard a delicate cough and a soft chuckle amidst the rustle of fabric. “...too much information aside, I’m really curious though,” she said.

Yamada really doesn’t understand why she was asking him about his opinion about her best friend (boyfriend?) but he considered the question, slowly slipping on the dress shirt and doing up the buttons.

“He’s a really cool person. He has so many interests and he pays equal attention to every single one of them, and he never seems to get tired. His existence is like the sun, really: bright and bringing warmth to everyone who knows him,” he said, a smile unconsciously finding its way to his lips. “He’s a really good person.”

He could hear the smile in Ohgo’s voice when she replied. “You really like him, don’t you?” she asked.

“He’s a very likable person,” he replied as he slipped on the dress pants and vest before carefully putting on the suit jacket. Something about the laugh Ohgo made in response to his statement sounded suspiciously a lot like what Inoo would sound like, but Yamada thought he was just being too paranoid. Not everyone is out to matchmake him, right? Ohgo doesn’t even know who Inoo is.


He faintly heard the sound of Ohgo’s phone receiving a message as he fussed over the knots of his tie. When he had successfully knotted the piece of fabric at the base of his throat without strangling himself, he looked at himself in the mirror. Ohgo had coordinated everything he was wearing, and the three-piece suit’s dark color complemented the lightness of his hair. The fit was comfortable and the pants were just the right length, and there were hidden pockets inside that could easily hide his weapon holsters. As he adjusted the sleeves, he noticed that it was loose around his wrists.

“Ohg—S-Suzuka-san? I think I need cuff links for this,” he called out. When there was no response, he pushed the curtains to the changing stall open, expecting to see her still leaning against the wall next to his changing stall. When he went out, there was no one else outside.

“That’s weird,” he whispered to himself, looking around to double check. When he didn’t see anyone he let himself out of the fitting rooms, shying away from the shop attendants who started gushing over him when they saw him decked out in the suit. Ducking behind a mannequin to hide from a (very adoring) store manager, he turned and bumped headfirst into somebody’s chest.

“Oh man I am so sorry—” he said, holding on to the stranger’s arms (those are some serious muscles, a part of his brain noted) to steady himself.

“Yama-chan?” a familiar voice asked.

“You’re kidding me,” Yamada whispered to himself as he looked up.

Nope. Definitely Yuto. Yamada’s neck recognized the height of the guy.

“Wait—what are you—why—but Suzu—wow—I mean—” Yuto said, spluttering, for some reason, as he looked at Yamada.

“If you guys are done feeling each other up, feel free to tell me, I’m chill,” another familiar voice said. Yamada hurriedly dropped his hands from Yuto’s arms and swivelled his head, gaping at another familiar face.

“Chinen? What the hell are you doing here?” Yamada said, staring in surprise.

“Fetching someone I lost,” he easily replied, poking at the mannequin and wagging a reproving finger at Yamada. “And watch your mouth.”

Yamada resisted making ‘Chinen you are a very cute version of demon’s spawn’ comments and stared. “But how—” he began.

“I saw Yutti come in, and then he told me Ohgo-san told him she’s here. Then Mirai-chan called me and told me you got kidnapped and figured,” Chinen said, studying his fingernails and looking relatively bored. He looked up and grinned. “Yutti, you okay there?”

Yamada looked up in time to see Yuto tear his gaze away from him at the last second.

“What? Me? Yeah I’m fine, of course I am, why wouldn’t I be fine?” he said, nervously laughing as he rubbed the nape of his neck.

“Really? Because you looked like you were two seconds away from drooling,” Chinen said, looking pointedly at Yamada as he said this. “Though I won’t blame you; Ryosuke looks surprisingly decent for a change.”

“I don’t know if I should blush or be offended,” Yamada said, scratching at his nose.

“Be happy, that’s all the praise you’ll ever get from me,” Chinen replied.

“Yama-chan! I was looking for you!” Ohgo said, arriving and immediately hitting Yuto on the arm.

“Ow, what was that for?!” Yuto asked indignantly, rubbing at his arm.

“Why are you already here? You ruined my surprise!” she said.

Yuto stared. “What—you asked me to go meet you here!” he said.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry much about that Ohgo-san, Yutti looked surprised enough to me,” Chinen said, grinning at Yamada.

“But I wanted to see Yuto-kun’s expression and take pictures!” she said.

Chinen held up his phone. “Already taken care of,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her afterwards. “That aside, please don’t randomly disappear on me again, Ohgo-san.”

Ohgo shifted in obvious guilt, now partially hidden behind Yuto. “Sorry,” she said in a small voice.

Yamada doesn’t understand what’s happening anymore.

Yuto moved towards the cuff links display, picking out a pair shaped like crescent moons and stretching them out to Yamada.

“I think this would look good with your suit,” he said, his eyes looking everywhere but at Yamada’s face. He caught up Yamada’s wrists and fastened the cuff links on himself, his fingers lingering over the skin of Yamada’s pulse points before being stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.

“Thanks,” Yamada said, fingering the miniscule silver moons on his sleeves. Yuto ducked his head and nodded in reply, a small smile on his lips.

“Why the moon, though?” Chinen asked nonchalantly.

Yuto looked up and eyed Yamada’s mussed up hair, his shoulders lifting up in a shrug. “He’s like moonlight?” he offered as a reply.

Ohgo smiled. “Light at the darkest part of the night,” she mused, nodding in approval. “Yuto-kun and his metaphors.”

“Y-you don’t have to put in weird meanings into it,” Yamada said, meeting Yuto’s gaze and giving him an apologetic smile. Yuto’s lips lifted at the corners, the smile not fully reaching his eyes. He picked up a silver bracelet and held it up against the light before reaching out and handing it to Yamada as well.

“Here. A gift from me as well,” he said, gesturing to Yamada’s suit. “Since Suzu-chan did a good job with everything already. I felt the need to contribute.”

“What do you think, then?” Ohgo asked, standing back next to Chinen and crossing her arms over her chest while proudly surveying her work. At their request, Yamada gave them a little turn, folded fingers into fists touching the edge of his sleeves and smiling in embarrassment at their approval. Ohgo addressed the question to Yuto, who had a little smile on his face as he watched Yamada fuss over his cuff links and touch the bracelet Yuto had gotten for him.

Yuto crossed his arms over his chest, the matching bracelet he had on his wrist glinting faintly under the shop’s lights as he met Yamada’s gaze and smiled, his answer only reaching Ohgo and Chinen’s ears.

“He looks perfect to me.”

To Be Continued.
xingphonicxingphonic on December 30th, 2014 12:30 pm (UTC)
Yamada has fallennnnn Yamada has fallen so hard

So he keeps them, and then takes them out every night when no one could see how he smiles in the memory of every single one of them.

“Why the hell would you build a hotel on a freaking railroad? That’s just creepy horror movie material.”

all this snark is wonderful, so wonderful, you are wonderful


KAMIKI RYUNOSUKE you are hopeless and i say this in the fondest manner

“...Only you can do those things accidentally and actually be telling the truth,” Hikaru said in awe.

“Isn’t he awesome?” Shida said proudly, kissing Kamiki’s cheek and causing him to blush.


ohgo, kidnapping people again


“This relationship has got to be two-way at some point in the near future,” he said.

“Awww, would you like to try on some too?” she asked, and then held up a white dress with a huge red rose spreading from the hem of the skirt to him. “This would look good with your skin tone!”

yamada you asked for it


“What is it? Do we have to escape from assassins?” she whispered back. “I could totally pull out ninja moves in these heels.”

stop calling me by my last name or i’ll get you another suit

“you’re a walking character study” “it was on sale"

yamadaaaaaa stop denying your feelings ;-;

“I saw Yutti come in, and then he told me Ohgo-san told him she’s here. Then Mirai-chan called me and told me you got kidnapped and figured,” Chinen said, studying his fingernails and looking relatively bored.


Yamada doesn’t understand what’s happening anymore.
yamada’s life is hard

;-; crescent moon cufflinks

“he’s like moonlight” ;-;

“Light at the darkest part of the night,”


ok gonna try summarise my feelings instead of just leaving you with quotes

i freaking /love/ the way you wrote everyone’s dynamics with each other, from established - yamada + the gang, especially with shida and chinen, and also ohgo and yuto, to developing relationships, like yutoxyamada, yamadaxshida. in particular, that scene in inoo’s office really sticks out to me because jesus christ everything about it gave me chills, not only in the inoo’s dialogue, but yamada’s POV, as well. and just. the yamajimaaaaaaaaa. i really loved reading about how their relationship developed, from strictly professional even though Kei Cupid Inoo had other ideas, to Yamada pining and cataloguing Yuto’s expressions for crying out loud, to Yuto taking pictures of yamada, and then the end scene ;___; moon metaphors, suzu conspiring to surprise them. i’m so fascinated about the chinenxsuzu too, and not just in the professional capacity.

author-san thank you so much for this, ilusm. this is amazing, and i truly, truly enjoyed reading this. please listen to mod-san-tachi and take a rest. <333333 also happy holidaaaays ♥
obsessed_makpa: Yuto :)obsessed_makpa on December 31st, 2014 02:51 am (UTC)
i'm trash and i'm too lazy to live-react to thing fic but but but to summarize

THIS FIC IS SO GOOD LIKE IT'S CASUAL AND CUTE AND LONG AND WILL BE LONGER BECAUSE TBC BUT UGH UGHHHHH I LOVE AUs SO MUCH OKAY AND THIS ONE like it's a spy AU but also a high school AU and for once it focuses on the behind-the scenes cutesy matchmaking thing instead of the whole dying on the job thing. YAMADA BEING BLUSHY AND CRUSHING SO HARD even he he tries to deny it because then he'd be playing into everyone's hands. yuto being your typical sweet rich kid. ALL THE SPIES BEING LITTLE SHITS. it's adorable and cute and i couldn't stop reading even. also the random 007/Hunger Games/Frozen references are fun. congrats author-chan. :DDDDDD have some hearts instead of more chatter!!!!

Katiekatieisperalda on January 2nd, 2015 04:14 am (UTC)
I was supposed to be sleeping when I was reading this and had to hide my phone like 3 times but I still had to continue because it is oh so gooddddd
Chinen is precious xD so is Shida and Kamiki (oh I think I ship them now, thanks to you!)
And then Inoo and his matchmaking and aargh that was so cute!!!
And of course Yuto and Yamada are all awkward but obvious flirting ahaha
I need that sequel please ' '